The Snare
The word “offend”comes from the Greek word skandalon. This word originally referred to the part of a trap the bait is attached. Offense is a deceptive, deadly trap that imprisons people, severs relationships, and widens breaches between us. I see more and more people offended by anything and everything these days. I have fallen into this trap myself. It’s easy to get caught in. I have begun to view an offense as a warning sign of a set trap. We overlook an offense by remembering Christ’s example of humility. Not because we are better than others, but in contrast counting others more significant. Things become less offensive when we begin to look through the lens of humility. Phil 2:3-4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others as more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interest but also to the interest of others.”
At the heart of an offense is pride. Jonathan Edwards said, “pride is the most hidden, secret, and deceitful of all sins.” Pride hides itself at the heart of an offense and focuses on one’s self, giving into self victimizing. If we preceive an offense as a snare we can learn to walk around it with stealth and avoid the trap. Proverbs 19:11 “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
The anatomy of a snare: Snares have a one way locking mechanism, which requires only a slight touch in order to tighten the noose. The one way sliding lock on the loop closes tight around the animal’s neck and either quickly cuts off circulation or breaks the neck. Snares are set where an animal is most likely to walk through. Offenses are set everywhere. The perceived offensive remark or action is the slight touch required to tighten the noose. When we give into the offense the snare quickly tightens as we begin to feel the need to be justified, develop a desire for revenge, and strive to protect ourselves (our ego) from being hurt. This cuts off our circulation and traps us in the offense/snare.
Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is more unyeilding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.
Think about the imagery in that Proverb – more unyielding than a strong city, or the bars of a castle. Once offended, the trap is sprung. The snare tightens quickly around the neck by actions such as, anger, criticalness, cynicism, or even passive despondency. Don’t fool yourself. Throwing a pity party is a sneaky form of pride shifting shapes as it moves from self righteous into self preservation. In self pity we are actually fishing for affirmation and reassurance in order to restore the ego. Death comes quickly as we fight to defend and/or protect ourself.
Matthew 24:10-13 “And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved.”
It’s ok to be angry. Eph 4:26-27 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Put the matter to rest at once by actually picking up the phone and talking to the person. No texting when an offense is involved. The longer you dwell on something the more it festers. The person you’re upset with may not even realize they did or said anything to upset you. Practical unity among believers displays God’s reconciling power. The devil especially prizes in it’s disruption.
“ The use of fashions in thought is to distract men from their real dangers. We direct the fashionable outcry of each generation against those vices of which it is in the least danger, and fix its approval on the virtue that is nearest the vice which we are trying to make endemic. The game is to have them all running around with fire extinguishers whenever there’s a flood; and all crowding to that side of the boat which is already nearly gone under.” —C. S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters